It's an explorative piece, nothing else. so don't be getting any ideas okay?

It's like white silk, adorned with lacings of ribbon as scarlet as any blood. I wait for the involuntary gasp. The moment of purity. Nothing. No feeling. Just me. Breathing. The searing pain shoots up my arm and my brain becomes a flurry of activity. My subconscious completely bemused by my regular but illogical thought patterns before this moment. The one I live for is the moment of peace. Everything around you stops, or at least slows down. All there is is you and your tears. The glint of silver blade and the flash of scarlet as blood wells beneath the skin.

My wrist is a spider's web of cuts: Some in intricate and complicated designs, others merely there, staring at you. Each mark, another day, another offering. Sometimes, it gets so hard to breathe, and my chest feels like it's going to burst. he knows why, and yet he doesn't care. When I feel as if I cannot live this way any longer, that's when. I can curl tight in the corner of my room, draw my knees to my chin, let the pain flow out. The air breathes onto me, turning the pure scarlet, a dirty, unclean brown which flakes and smudges, blurring my latest image. An M, on the inside of my palm. Desperate I grab a mirror from the dresser behind me, groping blindly until I seize the cold glass. I hurl it at the peeling lilac wall. It shatters, light refracting everywhere. My very own lightshow. But I barely notice. Grabbing the largest shard I can find, I trace the shape over and over again. A deep wound formed, and opened several others from other occasions like this. I pull my head up as the pain became almost unbearable. I gasp, pain searing up my arm, but I have only a few seconds. I take the cotton pads from my side and press them against the skin, clearing the blood so I can see the first cut. I take the shard, hooking it into the wound and draw a second line, the blood wells up again. I press another cotton pad against the wound, and repeat the process until a shining M glistens in the palm of my hand.

I stare at my handiwork, pride and pain welling up in my eyes. I press a final cotton pad to the palm of my hand and clench my fist around it. Sparks dance in the corner oh my eyes, and my vision becomes blurred. I pull my fist into my stomach, clenching my other hand around it, and draw my knees up. My stomach seems to swirl with the pain, and rest my chin on my knees and fall to the floor. Bliss surrounds me. A pure clear light fills me. I breathe out, as if I haven't breathed in minutes. And this is how I stay, curled on the floor, my tears turning the sea of blue carpet into an ocean. Now I can no longer see his face sneering at me so clearly in my head. His laughter doesn't echo so loudly in my ears.

and she's a girl,
with curves in all the right places,
and she's alive,
knowing all the right faces
b b b but she's mean,
and she'll steal your dreams

w-w-w one day, you're gonna wake up and see
the world is falling down at her feet

no i don't think you really know her
she's alone, crying at home
your games are messing with her head
and just how do you think she feels?
(how do you think she feels?)

but he's a boy
thinking just as they do
and he's got needs
to make everyone empty
some day he'll turn around
and realise what he's missing

w-w-w one day, you're gonna wake up and see
the world is falling down at her feet

he doesn't know what you want
he's confused, trying to keep at her feet
and her needs, are making him shout
and just how do you think he feels?
(how do you think he feels)

-guitar solo/ kit fill-

they're a couple
twisted together
they're in love, egos exploding
they're biting and scratching
the bitter taste on their toungues

w-w-w one day, you're gonna wake up and see
the world is falling down at her feet

i'm well sorry about that things just got un petit crazy, so here's the lowdown on what happened while i was gone

- failed all my gcses
- did loads of practise for germanland
- fell inlove with a guy called max
- germanland
- fell in love with a guy called micah
- had "an incident" with a guy called gareth
- came home
- was delighted when max, and alice got together (promise) 
- had my fashion show
- went to disneyland paris
- had a disastrous prom
- had my dance show
- turned 16

and now i have the boys school concert.

in my spare time, i'm afraid
these videos have somehow become my top viewed on my iTouch, sorry guys

love and other four letter words
♥♥♥♥

p.s. i promise i'll do a photo blog of all of the above that i can (:

not much to report today, math|soc ed|english|music|physics band. things were a bit lammeeearsee.

"alright dave?"
wow, that doesnnn'ttt sound intelligentt. i loves triggerr.
"i burnts your pitsa" alberrrrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttttttttttt =loveee








trifficccccccccccccccccccc

so, as you can see, my blog has had a bit of a re-vamp. i quite likes the lellyphantss, they're fit, also so is fatboy slim. sooooo, tadays i went to broadstairs, which if i'm perfectly honest is just like every other english seaside town: on a hill, really run down, a bit of beach, a band stand and a fair. you can eat cotton candy, or sunbathe and get burnt with dodgy outlines. you can rock pool, or throw stones at seagulls. you can buy tacky sea-side related gifts or paddle.

i ate ice cream, bought a shell&flower&resin necklace, and laid on some rocks and got sunglasses marks. SEXY.
well yeah, i think that's it for taday. (: 
peace&loves

"WHATS THAT NOISE?"
"PARALYSED CHICKEN"
"RUNNING POTATO CHICKENS"
"DON'T TOUCH THE RESET BUTTON"
"SHE'S DOING ANOTHER PARALYSED CHICKEN"
"I'M STROKING MY WII, MY NINTENDO WII"
"I MAKE MARIO DO THINGS FOR ME"
"DID YOU JUST SAY KOREAN CHILD PROSTITUTE?"
 are just some of the quotes from today, a lol day

mixing is looking up. need to get a few more playlists together and then maybe look for some sets?
i think so.
did none of the stuff i said i was going to |: 

adiosss

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
wow i sound really crazy now don't i? WAHEY. so uhm taday, not much to report; got up ate a really good sandwich; textilesed; got fringe cut;bought cosmo!; tap danced in waitrose and got weeeeirrrdddd looks; textilesed; watched reruns of who's line USA;ate more food; and came online (:
BUT YH.
i'm gonna redo my room i think. fix up my fairy lights add some new pictures on the collage on the back of my wall, and uhm what else? uhmmm make some cushions. chuck a load more crap out. alphabetise EVERYTHING. fix my snooze. and chuck out the tees that i don't wear as well as the laddered tights. i might do some of that tmrw... HMMM.

adiosssssss mes amigos.

hasta luego